Again – another post, another long delay.  To put it quite simply, December turned into quite the bitch and I’d be pleased to not remember the last half.

First, I need to express the good things.  After seeing a nice collection of light displays across the mid-Atlantic, I have to say my second favorite behind McAdenville, NC is Overly’s Country Christmas outside Greensburg, PA.   What started off as one house with lights grew to the point that the whole display was moved to the local fairgrounds.  There is essentially a circular outside driving path with decorations on both sides.  After circling the lights cars are directed to a parking lot where all celebrants can walk through the Christmas village inside the driving cicle.  A huge bonfire, live manger, impressive train display, a country gift shop, sleigh/wagon rides, & Santa await.  We went up on a cold & snowy Friday, and aside from a few traction issues the snow added the extra Christmas touch.  Riding in the (two) horse open sleigh during snow showers brings Jingle Bells to life.

We also took in the Walking with Dinosaurs touring show in Pittsburgh, based on the BBC series of the same name.  It’s hard to describe just how big of a spectacle the show is.  There are some clandestine clips on Youtube, and they don’t do the show justice.  I’d encourage everyone to take it in – it’s not just a kids show.

Speaking of the kids….two grandparent visits, Christmas morning from us & Santa adds up to WAY too big of a mess.  They’re both thrilled with their gifts, which I suppose is the important part.  For us, though, all we see are huge empty boxes and toy pieces everywhere.

I’d be in a much better mood about the whole thing if the last couple weeks had not occured.  Jen has high-leveled some of this on Facebook, but this is my official summary.  A couple weeks ago (16th or 17th) I started feeling abdominal pressures.  Not pain or the sharp gas feeling, but pressure & discomfort.  Nothing phased it…not OTC drugs, burping, farting, pooping, etc.  It just stuck.  We began speculating on a GI bug when Jen got similar symptoms Thursday, but hers ran it’s course quicker.  Friday evening came with the same problems when a new symptom appeared – searing back pain.  Our theoy is the dry heaves I got yanked something back there out of place, but being in severe pain (for me is one step below a kidney stone) we went to the ER.  I got to spend Saturday & most of Sunday eating a liquid diet while more tests & scans were run on my lower abs looking for gall bladder/appendix problems.  Nothing was seen, so on Sunday night I got my release after keeping down my first solid food in 48 hours.  Additionally, I hadn’t taken any pain injections since early that Sunday morning, and that was more to keep still during the tests and prevent flare-ups.

That last line should have been more of a concern upon leaving the hospital, since I had no pain meds to back up the trip home.  It got so bad that on Christmas Eve we left the kids with visiting grandparent set #1 so I could go to the local walk-in and get some muscle relaxants.  The next 24 hours became quite the pharamceutical holiday (“Here comes Naproxen, here comes Tylenol, with a ginger ale chase….” as I was popping pills faster than Dr. House on clinic duty.  Grandparent set #2 gave me the next weapon in the Backside Wars on Christmas night – Capzaicin.

Capzaicin is laughably described as a topical ointment that may cause a temporary stinging or burning sensation when first applied, but will reduce over time.  The active ingredient is capsaicin, a naturally occuring substance in peppers that give each species their kick.  There is a subjective measurement in the hot pepper world called the Scoville Scal, which basically indiciates how much dilution by a sugar syrup is necessary to remove the “heat” from a pepper.  Bell peppers have no capsaicin, so they register a zero on the scale.  Habaneros, on the other hand, have a ton of capsaicin in them and have a dilution scale rating of at least 200,000 (the amount of times a pepper would have to go through dilution to kill the heat.  Pure capsaicin, like in the ointment?  Over a dozen times the habanero – at least 15,000,000.  It does work as a pain reliever, though – the burn was so intense I felt like I was losing several layers of skin at once, but at least I didn’t notice my muscles.  I’ve gotten used to the feeling now so it’s no longer a big deal, but at the time I thought it would be just as effective (and less painful) to pour battery acid down my back.

Things are slowly returning to normal.  The ab discomfort is minimal, and the dope/acid is keeping the back pain under control.  Heck, I’m not even searching out sheets of ice to lay on like I did on Christmas night to cool my back off.  Twice.  After the new year starts I’ve got several followups to close this chapter of Hell.  At least on this last day of the year things are looking up.